Paulson to Detroit: Drop Dead

Henry Paulson, Treasury Secretary. Credit: Associated Press.

WASHINGTON - Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson delivered tough talk directed at Congress Tuesday rejecting any notion of allocating one penny of his $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program [TARP] towards the relief of the battered U.S. automotive sector. Mr. Paulson's testimony is a death blow to Detroit, Michigan and the Rust Belt at-large. The Heartland, a region decimated by the collapse of U.S. manufacturing is indeed on life support. Mr. Paulson must reason that America shall function normally while its midsection remains under cardiac arrest.

The Big Three are lobbying Washington for an additional $25 billion from the Treasury - double the original $25 billion package approved to meet environmental directives implemented at the behest of the Energy Department. Says Paulson, "there are other ways" to resuscitate the dying industry - intimating that bailout package dollars shall be exclusive to financial companies. Paulson, Democrat, has emerged to lead a group of hawkish, free-market Republicans that have dismissed rescuing Detroit from a debacle that is of its own doing.

The Motor City has made its own bed, and shall lay in it.

Pity Detroit. Kwame Kilpatrick, former Mayor and married man has been jailed for abusing city telecom services to send explicit text messages to a government aide that led to an obstruction of justice fiasco, the Detroit Lions football franchise are on the verge of mailing in a 0-16 winless season, the locale maintains the highest crime rate in the nation, and Motown property investments have produced nothing over the past decade. Indeed, Detroit, Michigan is the most miserable city in America.

Now this.

Congressional testimony, Wall Street, and the international consumer have exposed a Big Three group marred by mismanagement, fiscal irresponsibility, and impossibly curious product lines. General Motors stock has plunged to an outrageous $3 per share and a return to 1946 levels. Adjusted for global inflation, a $10,000 GM investment held for sixty years, would be able to purchase one flat panel television at today's prices.

Great.

The situation is beyond desperate. Awkward design and shoddy reliability have produced a lineup of vehicles unable to compete within the world's marketplace. All of Detroit's top selling models are gas guzzling beasts: Ford F Series, Chevrolet Silverado, Chevy Impala, and Dodge Ram. Irrespective of any credit debacle, the sales outlook would be grim - reliant upon consumer behavior still smarting from $150 oil. This is a disgrace.

But it is our disgrace.

Detroit should be revered as a National Treasure, rather than despised as a has been Oliver Twist untouchable street urchin. The embrace of the U.S. auto industry shall equate to more than nostalgic memories of horsepower, Corvettes, and Route 66. The embrace of Detroit is essential to the economic fabric of America. Today's credit bust shall serve as testimony to the grandiose risks associated with a gross Western commercial imbalance that is the consequence of accepting paper financials at the expense of real property, plant, and equipment. 

Let us evaluate the footprint of General Motors. General Motors lists approximately 250,000 employees, globally. We shall assume an American workforce of roughly 200,000 jobs that are in danger of elimination. Critics will argue that the bulk of these jobs will be absorbed by international competitors and the heckling will intensify with onlookers arguing that the worst-case scenario loss of 200,000 jobs in a nation of 300 million people will be hardly noticeable. The informed will reason that statistics can always be massaged - investigating further. 

First, General Motors manufacturing operations are centered within the Rust Belt at locales such as Lordstown, Flint, Toledo, Mansfield, and Ypsilanti. Foreign auto making operations are primarily within the Deep South at Greenville, Tupelo, and Georgetown, KY. Obviously, Upper Midwest citizens will not relocate to Dixie on whim - naively following the hope and prayer of landing auto industry employment. Secondly, General Motors lists over 1,000 suppliers that are also located within Middle America. Logically, these suppliers also have suppliers and must function in heavily populated Rust Belt states vital to the health of America. 

Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana boast a U.S. Census estimated combined 2006 population of 27,887,169 - nearly 10% of the U.S. Hence, I would argue that the General Motors supply chain and its network of dealers carries a footprint of at least five million jobs, alone. The large influence is a characteristic of heavy manufacturing that employs legions of workers to build product, rather than computer algorithms to rearrange paper.

The fallout of allowing Detroit to fail far exceeds the price tag of an additional $25 billion in tax payer dollars. The consequences of inaction would be apocalyptic.

Granted, the words of Hank Paulson are the testimony of a persecuted statesman destined to be shown the door shortly at the behest of a new Obama Administration. Still, our intent remains purposeful. Our duty is to educate the general citizenry in regards to the importance of saving Detroit from its own self.

'Make Believe' Elite Profit Amidst Debacle

Eric Cartman, Mogul and Statesman. Credit: Comedy Central.

Let's venture into a parallel Universe and personify the actions of a collection of fictional characters that would be best suited to thrive amidst this miserable economic environment. I shall present a comprehensive list regarding the motives, career achievements, and transaction details of this select grouping of popular culture. Our speculations will effectively foreshadow the movements of the industries and cross sections of society that these icons represent. Respecting the entertainment curiosities of our readership, the presentation shall not spoil the plot lines of any televised drama. 

5: Russell 'Stringer' Bell
The Baltimore drug kingpin wrests away The Crown as top gangster from Nino Brown, Scarface, and Tony Soprano. Mr. Bell delicately toes the line between masterminding East Coast dope and cocaine trafficking, converting illicit profits into legitimate businesses, and bankrolling corrupt cops and municipal politicians to look the other way. 

Certainly, his empire representing the underworld of crime is booming in this environment. Surging energy and housing costs disproportionally affect the poor and working class - driving this group further into despair. This socioeconomic class is particularly privy to the drug and alcohol abuse that becomes ever more rampant amidst recessionary periods. Criminal activity will rise alongside the uptick in the consumption of illegal substances as a consequence of desperate addicts seeking to placate their habits and the intense competition of rivals garnering to supply this demand.

Stringer Bell's underworld of violence will be further exacerbated by the precarious state of the Maryland and U.S. Treasury. Financial markets are reeling, Detroit is on the brink, and struggling consumers will continue to demand government assistance. Law enforcement and education spending will be subordinate to these issues. The lack of taxpayer dollars committed to the inner city may only contribute to a heightened vigilante atmosphere.

Russell Bell dismisses the Obama 'change' movement as political fluff. The drug lord is a first-hand witness to the comings and goings of politicians that spell out promises from the comforts of oak-paneled offices - yet change nothing on the streets. To paraphrase a recent conversation between Bell and D'Angelo Barksdale, lieutenant at Orlando's:

"New Administration? Ain't no new Administration. The government can do better and the streets will take no never mind. We strengthen our package [drug cocktail]. We do better. We weaken our package, spike it with some procaine - we do better. Because a fiend [drug addict] will always be there."  

4: Montgomery Burns

The Springfield energy baron and owner of the Oakland Raiders has been completely disheveled by the recent 2008 rout of the Republican Party. Mr. Burns, mogul, and Vietnam War veteran emerged as a key contributer, fundraiser, and adviser to the McCain-Palin ticket. Clearly, McCain's rhetoric pertaining to the ultimate embrace of additional reliance upon nuclear power could have only been authored by Montgomery Burns.

Burns, taking his cue from Wal*Mart, Bentonville, AR retailer coordinated meetings which threatened employees of his Springfield operations to donate to the Republican Party - or face termination. Smithers, board member presented a spread sheet to the working class voters depicting the Obama camp as anti-American Socialists, intent upon taxing Joe Plumber into bankruptcy. Mr. Burns also employed the assistance of Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders to galvanize the conservative Christian demographic.

Of course, the town hall meeting was interrupted by a Homer J. Simpson. Simpson, representing the beacon of fear mongering G.O.P. ignorance mockingly labeled Obama an 'Arab,' that is not to be trusted.  

Montgomery Burns has coped with the fallout from these 2008 elections by buying and selling Ford Stock, dismissing a long-time executive that fictitiously claimed to be a USC MBA on his resume, and firing 10,587 employees.

3: Eric Cartman

Amusement Park mogul is the leader of an elite group of young entrepreneurs and celebrities that is set to redefine the marketplace. His rolodex of personal acquaintances includes Mickey Mouse, movie star and Richie Rich, wunderkind Silicon Valley kingmaker. The formidable alliance of industrial might, star power, and technological expertise emerged as an important backbone of the Obama movement. Cartman's organizational skills effectively delivered the young vote into the blue column.

Eric Cartman built his commercial empire utilizing the tactic of exclusive marketing. Exclusive marketing promotes barriers to consumer entry by both outrageous pricing and the purposeful limitations of supply. The South Park, CO tycoon put these methods to good use, combining the Web 2.0 prowess of Richie Rich with the Hollywood intrigue of his Mickey Mouse connections. Eric Cartman hosted democratic fundraisers at Token's residence charging $5,000 per plate. Of course, Stan and Kenny were barred from the event.

Following the 2008 victory, Mr. Cartman met with President-elect Obama at Chicago, finagling a post within the Obama cabinet in exchange for his tireless efforts. The post came as a shock to all pundits, and further highlighted the political dexterity of the young businessman: Eric Cartman, Treasury Secretary. 

As Secretary of the Treasury, Cartman slashed 'uncool' education funding, committed excessive tax payer dollars to aerospace and defense, and bailed out the banking industry in order to finance the purchase of 'cool' things. Televised news conferences were dominated by Secretary Cartman pleading with the American people to endure tax increases, while barking at Joe Wurzlebacher to 'drop dead and die.'

Inevitably, Eric Cartman's foray into Government was short lived. The Wall Street Journal recently exposed an off-shore account registered under the name of 'Butters' that was being investigated for insider trading by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Allegedly, Cartman had ordered Butters to execute trades on his behalf, pocketing profits in relation to his Washington directives.

Sources have concluded that the scheme is directly responsible for the extreme volatility ravaging financial markets. The pricing activity is the manifestation of a bailout package that has been presented, rejected, approved, and legislated to rescue banks, Detroit, the consumer, and the city-state of Andorra every five minutes. 

Certainly, stock-jobbing is the only explanation. Lawmakers could not be this clueless.

2: The Man

The Man controls everything. 

Although we have yet to visually witness The Man - we feel his presence everywhere. Estimates report The Man's annual income at $108 Trillion - contributing to an imposing net worth of $580 gazillion trajillion billion. ExxonMobil? Warren Buffett? Barack Obama, you ask?

Ha!

Fools. The Man earns more cash than 10,000 ExxonMobil corporations combined, every millisecond; Warren Buffett works for The Man, and The Man actually pulled the strings to elect Barack Obama into Office. 

The Man monopolizes Big Oil, Big Pharmaceuticals, Big Retail, Detroit, Microsoft, Big Government, the market for those little tags on your pillow, Saudi Arabia, The Golden Gat Bridge, butter-nut crunch, hip-hop, flat panel televisions, every branch of the military, and all aspects of international commerce. The Man is behind every conspiracy imagined - directing us sniveling pawns to do his bidding.

The Man has capitalized upon this debacle by shorting stock and spreading rumors that sent Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, Bear Stears, and FannieMae into bankruptcy - profiting $10 trillion in the process. Prior to these happenings, The Man was manipulating the price of oil - unabashedly gouging customers at the pump. 

Frankly, The Man knows no shame.

Ironically, The Man precipitated this bust by duping consumers - offering society unaffordable mortgages and outrageous living standards. The Man presented a blank check, charismatically directing society to 'live it up,' on cheap credit, minimal taxes, and stagnant incomes.

The Man is now ready to collect. Failure to remit payment will result in foreclosure, the confiscation of property, and ultimately - jail.

1: Santa Claus

The lone figure that may thwart The Man's evil machinations. 

Whereas The Man is merely a parasite, feasting upon the foibles of society, producing nothing -Santa Claus has the ability to create and manufacture all things from his North Pole base. The industrialist is also the master of efficiency, depending upon a logistics network that is capable of circumnavigating the world 58 billion times over to deliver product before sunrise. 

Santa has already dispatched his elves to the corridors of Washington, London, and Tokyo. Central bankers, politicians, and officials are indeed 'Santa's little helpers,' printing money, offering subsidies, and promising bailouts. Ben 'Helicopter' Bernanke, Chief Elf has already detailed a 'plan' calling for dollars to be airlifted across America via helicopter. Obviously, these initiatives have been originated by Saint Nick.

Claus' only weakness is his open acceptance of praise for results that often arrive courtesy of the work of others. Underlings, taking their cue from the rosy-cheeked jolly man operate likewise. Clearly, the Federal Reserve, Democrats, The Man, Bubbles, Republicans, Bill Clinton, Sweden, and Winnie the Pooh will be lined up to accept credit for the world's inevitable return to prosperity.   

Forty Four Presidents

Crediting Lady Di. I came across this collection on her blog - while cruising through the blogosphere. There are forty-two Presidents in this frame. As Barack Obama is the forty-forth President of the United States - the illustration should present forty-three, rather than forty-two portraits. We are seeking to identify the missing link. At this point, my intent is that of self-actualization. Working backwards - I shall test myself to identify these leaders of the Free World. I will utilize no guide book other than my own cerebral powers.

43: George W. Bush (R) - 'Won' two controversial elections over John Kerry and Al Gore. Although he lost the popular vote, electoral victories in Ohio and Florida ushered in his Presidency. Coordinated efforts and stern leadership in response to September 11th marked the heights of his Presidency. The Katrina fiasco, real estate bust, economic debacle, and an unpopular war have destroyed all goodwill formerly awarded to the Bush Administration. 

42: William Clinton (D) - Bubba was wildly popular at one time. The Southern Democrat smoked marijuana (didn't inhale), played the saxophone, and possessed more knowledge of the economy than any recent President other than Reagan. Of course, the technology boom peaked from 1992-2000, and Billy Clint was safely out of office before the bubble burst. His legacy has been compromised by his grudging acceptance of the Obama campaign.  

41: George H.W. Bush (R) - The Yankee, Yale graduate migrated to Texas, picked up a Southern drawl, and built a fortune as a young oil baron. Blames Fed chief Alan Greenspan for losing his second Presidential bid to Clinton. Greenspan hiked interest rates in response to inflation - precipitating the recession of the early nineties that doomed Herbert Walker's candidacy.

40: Ronald Reagan (R) - The idol of all Republicans. Supply-side, trickle-down economics were a boon to big business. Reaganomics, or unfettered capitalism has been the playbook of all leaders on both sides of the aisle for the past twenty-five years. The former actor brazenly challenged Soviet Power with military might and fiscal conservatism - effectively ending the Cold War. Still, the 2008 Bust has called the Adam Smith/Reagan/Thatcher model into question.

39: Jimmy Carter (D) - Historically inept President. The Georgian peanut farmer forsook the standard motorcade procession of Washington dignitaries for embracing the audience at his Inauguration - on foot. His attempt to be 'of the people,' backfired with foreign policy gaffes and mismanagement of the economy. Lengthy gasoline lines, Middle East posturing, unemployment, and rampant inflation were the order of the day. The low points of this Carter Administration unwittingly constructed the path way for Reaganomics. 

38: Gerald Ford (R) - Vice President Ford accepted the Presidency in the aftermath of the Richard Nixon Watergate controversy.

37: Richard Nixon (R) - Rent controls and various regulation pandered to popular sentiment, yet wreaked further havoc on an already dismal 1970's economic outlook. The paranoid and blustery Nixon ordered operatives to infiltrate the Watergate Hotel and confiscate sensitive documents from the Democratic Party, during an election in which Nixon was the clear cut frontrunner. The scandal eventually led to the shameful end of the Richard Nixon Presidency.

36: Lyndon B. Johnson (D) - The Texan effectively translated the Civil Rights issue into enforceable legislation. The Democratic Party of the 1960's reclaimed a movement that had been abandoned by Republicans of the Reconstruction era. LBJ is primarily responsible for the strong allegiance towards the Democratic Party on behalf of African Americans.

35: John F. Kennedy (D) - Global icon. Assassinated.

34: Dwight D. Eisenhower (R) - 'I like Ike.' War Hero. The WWII General fused military success with effective political leadership.

33: Harry Truman (R) - Generally underrated President. Administration characterized with the Johnstown flood disaster and Korean War.

29: Warren G. Harding (D) - Pretty boy. Elected on the strength of his good looks that appealed to female voters. Presidency marred with corruption, turmoil, vice, and of course, the perpetual sex scandal. The gallivanting Harding and his Playboy image render Kennedy and Clinton as mere innocents.  

28. Calvin Coolidge (D) - He just looks like 'Calvin Coolidge.' I think he is a Democrat.

27: Howard Taft (R) - The Fat Man from Ohio. Notably found himself stuck in the White House bathtub, felled underneath his own blubber.

26: Theodore Roosevelt (D) - Trustbuster and rough rider. The former rancher proved to be the only man that could repel John D. Rockefeller, oil Titan. The Democrat dissolved the Standard Oil Trust juggernaut, breaking up the conglomerate into today's Exxon [Mobil], Chevron, Amoco [bought by BP], and Marathon. Teddy Roosevelt is the one President, dead or alive, of which I may concede defeat to - per chance of a physical altercation. 

19: Rutherford B. Hayes (R) - Awarded the election in a back room deal: Republicans were to give up the Reconstruction / Civil Rights / Freedman banner in exchange for Louisiana electoral votes that spelled victory for the Grand 'Ol Party.

18: General Ulysses S. Grant (R) - Civil War Hero. Attack - first military genius tactician crushed the South and held together the Union. Grudgingly accepted the Presidency without campaigning. Removed from the battlefield, the General continued to engage Southern Democrats on the issue of Freedman's rights. Further established Republicans as the party of business by refusing to bail out speculators amidst a financial panic. Grant actually directed the Treasury to raise interest rates in order to crush inflation. The fiscal conservatism strengthened the battered reconstruction era dollar, and led to a post-war period of American industrial might. 

17: Andrew Johnson (R) - Vice President took office following the assassination of Lincoln. The unlikeable Johnson alienated members of both parties. Eerily sympathetic to the plight of former slave holding, Southern Democrats.

16: Abraham Lincoln (R) - Honest Abe masterfully maintained the fabric of The Union. Captivating orator's Gettysburg Address and Emancipation Proclamation put an end to the despicable practice of slavery while guiding a country at War with its own self. Skilled diplomacy placated the critical border states and reassured Northerners to maintain Faith in a War that had become unpopular within various circles. His leadership style stressed delegation - allowing key generals such as Grant and Sherman to command troops without Washington interference. Tragically assassinated by John Wilkes Booth.

12: Andrew Jackson (D) - War hero. The Tennessee Democrat may be identified as the first serious political figure of the American 'West.' The Spanish War General harbored a blatant distrust towards banking and industry that bordered upon lunacy. His dismantling of U.S. Central Banking is largely acknowledged to be responsible for the frequent economic busts of the young nation, and the eventual Great Depression. Appalachian rough neck ignored Civil Rights - coordinating a 'Trail of Tears' of Cherokee Indians from Georgia to Oklahoma Territory. Ironically, this man is featured on the twenty dollar bill.

7: Zachary Taylor (D) - I am not certain what Zachary Taylor actually looks like. I do know that Taylor fought in the Mexican-American war, and is noted for sporting military regalia - at all times. Taylor mentored a young General Grant, so I shall postulate that this portrait featuring a gentleman in military garb at this location is Taylor.

6: John Quincy Adams (Federalist) - Again, there is an error somewhere along this collage. I recognize J Q Adams as the sixth President. The son of John Adams had been groomed for the Executive Office from birth.

5: James Monroe (Republican) - Member of the Virginia aristocracy and political contingent.

4: James Madison (Republican) - Virginian. Thomas Jefferson sidekick, often serves as a proxy to viciously duel with Alexander Hamilton and the Federalists over U.S. Policy. Ironically, teemed with Hamilton and Jay early within his political career to pen the Federalist Papers - literature that argued for the establishment of an independent, United States of America.

3: Thomas Jefferson (Republican) - Gifted writer penned the Declaration of Independence. Leader of the Virginia group and a nascent Republican Party of which I am unsure directly corresponds into today's era. Jefferson envisioned an America of agriculture, limited industrial might, and small government. Jefferson despised commerce and stubbornly clung to a strict, verbatim interpretation of The Constitution. The Louisiana Purchase and the subsequent expansion of The United States were debates that paralyzed his Administration, as these powers and actions were never addressed in the Constitution. Alexander Hamilton, Treasury Secretary, and de facto prime minister served as his primary antagonist.

I loathe Thomas Jefferson. The polarizing figure was a Virginia aristocrat slaveholder, sympathized with Great Britain rule until the very end, dismissed his very own mixed children born into slavery, and died broke. The coward refused to fight, actually fleeing his Monticello homestead amidst the Revolutionary War.

It is a small wonder that this spendthrift, born into wealth - yet passing away as a debtor openly mocked Alexander Hamilton, foreigner, Revolutionary War soldier, fiscal genius, and abolitionist. Hamilton, Federalist, and the right-hand man of George Washington served as the convenient receptacle for Republican outrage. Any direct challenge of General Washington was synonymous with complete blasphemy at the time. 

2: John Adams (Federalist) - Alliance with George Washington, Hamilton, and Revolutionary War diplomacy ushered in the Presidency of this Massachusetts statesman. His Puritan, New England values often conflicted with Hamilton, New Yorker, and eventually led to the demise of the Federalists. Wife, Abigail, proved instrumental in the establishment of both the Adams political dynasty and the ultimate framing of this Nation.   

1: George Washington (Federalist) - General Washington led a rag-tag group of minutemen, representing a young and impoverished nation through the Wilderness and into Victory against The British. Cornwallis' red coat defeat at Yorktown sealed American victory, and is the culmination of the most improbable upset ever recorded in history. The grinding theatre captured the spirit of American resilience - promulgating the ultimate failure of Great Britain, super power. 

The Revolutionary War victory would be similar to U.S. soldiers actually surrendering at Baghdad. Picture a scenario in which the world's foremost empire is routed and dominated by untrained rebels. American citizens immediately declared George Washington a monarch - at a time when royalty was comparable to God.

Although the American population was more than willing to cede all powers to the great General, Washington refused to accept, or even appear as a divisive force in the political arena. The First President depended upon his cabinet, particularly the advice of Hamilton, Secretary of the Treasury in order to coordinate a blueprint for the original United States. 

The wealthy landowner provided for the emancipation of his Mount Vernon slaves upon his death. Historians challenge the merit of said decision, questioning whether the action was truly a rebuttal of slavery, or the machinations of a Founding Father concerned with Legacy.

Conclusions

1: It is at times difficult, to embrace a Nation that has not always openly embraced all. Still, the ultimate acceptance of the fabric of the United States of America by all parties within its borders is paramount to the success of both the individual and U.S. society at-large. President-elect Barack Obama and framer, Alexander Hamilton shall serve as testimony to this point.

2: The Revolutionary War, Civil War, Great Depression, World War I and II, 1960's, and early 1980's were critical junctions in the development of this Nation. Thoughtful reading of the aforementioned article proves the merit of this second point. Witness the multiple anomalies of today that were commonplace in separate periods of U.S. History. Example: 'Southern Democrat,' or 'Black Republican.' I would also surmise that 2008 shall mark another chapter. We have already witnessed Wall Street, fierce protector of independent free-trade, embrace a model of leftish government intervention.

3: Although I am unable to identify FDR, Woodrow Wilson, and the infamous Herbert Hoover by face, I must indicate that these Presidents were indeed, important.

4: I am ignorant as to whatever names such as Martin Van Buren, Millard Filmore, and William Harrison have actually contributed to society, for better, or for worse. 

5: I did not do any research for this. Hopefully, my presentation is somewhat authentic.

Bobby Jindal: Republican Party Boss On Deck

Bobby Jindal, with wife, Supriya and son, Shaan at Baton Rouge rally. Credit: Associated Press.

Piyush "Bobby" Jindal, 37, is the current Republican governor of Louisiana and stands ready to accept The Crown - emerging as Grand Ol' Party Boss.

Conservatives are reeling. Recent 2008 election results have effectively served notice to the right-wing. The party's calling card of unfettered capitalism, de-regulation, militant posture, and gun rhetoric is officially caput. Although the popular vote was split evenly, the Obama campaign registered a landslide electoral college victory - highlighting the demise of The Republican Party. In addition to controlling the Left Coast and Northeast bastions of liberalism, Democrats further expanded their turf by dominating the Rust Belt, and claiming the interior West region as blue state territory. Obama will bring many friends to Washington, as the Democrats now also control both the U.S. Senate and the House of Representatives.

The 2008 election shall be remembered as nothing short of an outright embarrassment for the Republican Party. The carnage has been characterized by an inability to influence younger voters, African Americans, women, Hispanics, and working-class Americans. Recently, Republican governors met at Miami to assess the damage, strategize, and ultimately wrest Party leadership away from the Washington legislative branch and into State Capitol control. 

Enter Bobby Jindal.

Elected by 54% of the vote in a four-way 2007 Louisiana race, Jindal is the youngest current governor in the United States. He is the first Indian-American governor in U.S. History, and the first non-white to lead Louisiana since Reconstruction. His impressive rise to the Baton Rouge seat includes congressional duty, in which he dominated the democratic opposition in Louisiana's First District by sweeping 78 and 88 percent of the vote in the respective 2004 and 2006 elections. 

Jindal's eventual governorship came in response to statewide outrage directed at corrupt democratic leaders, and their bungled Hurricane Katrina response. Ironically the very same natural disaster and public relations fiasco that torpedoed Republican credibility on a national scale, trail blazed the ascendency of Bobby Jindal's claim to the Governor's Mansion.

Certainly, G.O.P. veterans will champion Jindal as an effective counter to Obama in 2012.

Bobby Jindal is the mirror image of Barack Obama. Governor Jindal, Brown University graduate - having been accepted by Yale Law, actually chose to forego a career in litigation for that of public servant. The Rhodes Scholar, then received a master's in political science at Oxford. This charismatic leader is the son of immigrants, and has embraced a system largely perceived as unwelcome to his class. He is indeed transcendent - his career path rivaling that of a young Obama. 

Countering Obama's well-documented posture of liberalism, Mr. Jindal is unapologetically conservative. The leader emphatically opposes stem cell research, promotes legislation friendly to gun owners, calls for staunch border control, openly supports off-shore drilling, and has berated Washington for a lack of fiscal restraint. 

Although a May meeting at John McCain's Phoenix home incited speculation centering upon Jindal as a potential running-mate, the governor vehemently refuted such scuttlebutt. Of course, McCain subsequently added Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to the ticket, shortly thereafter. The deepening real-estate bust, credit crisis, and stock market debacle doomed the McCain candidacy - resulting in the aforementioned election day rout.

Jindal's dismissal of the post left the politician unscathed. He has sidestepped the carnage of this McAain-Palin failure and is therefore poised to seriously engage 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Rather than cowering in defeat, the Louisiana Governor strikes back as a hard-liner, galvanizing the base by promoting standard G.O.P. doctrine. Says Jindal:

"When voters are saying that Democrats are more likely to cut axes and control spending, that tells you Republicans have gotten off the path. We are not being true to our principles. Our actions must match our rhetoric."

The battle lines have been drawn and the stage is set for Piyush "Bobby" Jindal to accept The Crown as G.O.P. Boss. Republican circles will be grooming the iconic Louisiana Governor to challenge President Obama in a 2012 Showdown for the Ages. 

Report: Miserable October Retail Sales

WASHINGTON - The Commerce Department's release of October retail sales figures indicates a 2.8% drop in sales to $363.7 billion from September's $374 billion. October 2008, and its corresponding stock market crash marked new lows for this latest economic debacle. The record plunge in retail sales tops the fallout from the September 11th attacks that effectively decimated November 01 sales by 2.65%.

The report presents little information that any citizen of average intelligence should be unable to surmise. The raw data simply quantify the collapse of consumer confidence.

With the exception of food and beverage, health, and the odd 'miscellaneous store retailer' category, sales have declined in all of the thirteen groupings of these sales figures tabulated by the U.S. Census. Americans are shopping less, eating, and increasingly seeking medication to ease the pain.

Falling oil prices, and the weakening of petroleum demand translated into a 12.7% reduction in gasoline station sales over the past month. The lessening burden of energy costs is the one saving grace of this report. Quietly, conspiracy theorists, agitated lawmakers, and misinformed economists have been dismissed by the march of time. The swift deterioration of oil prices from $150 to $60 per barrel, coupled with the world economy's inability to gain traction during this time frame shall serve as further proof that energy markets cannot be manipulated. High oil prices were never the sole factor in this global slowdown.

Energy policy will be put on the back burner by both parties. The G.O.P. calling card to 'drill, drill, drill,' will be challenged by environmentalists - lobbying against exposing the sensitive shores of Florida and permafrost terrain of Alaska to catastrophe with energy prices at these levels - and the left-wing theme of alternative energy will be dismissed as an impractical scheme of tree huggers. Solar energy, wind, and ethanol could not compete with oil prices at $150. Alternative energy investment is almost a pie-in-the sky non-issue with crude oil futures approaching $50.

Sorry, Mr. Pickens. Sorry, Mr. Gore.

Detroit is a wreck. Motor vehicle and parts dealer revenue fell by 5.5% in October, and automobile sales have been ravaged - to the tune of a 25% decrease in one year. General Motors stock  is at $3 - levels not seen since 1946. GM shares held for sixty-two years have returned nothing. Ford stock has not fared much better - trading at an outrageous $1.80 per share, from 1999 levels at $35. Ford Motor Company, and GM are capitalized at $4.2 billion, and $1.8 billion, respectively. Private equity group, Cerberus Capital Management is allegedly looking to sell Chrysler to General Motors in some type of 'merger.' 

Hence, let us value Chrysler at $1 billion. The market value of the Big Three automakers combined, is now a laughable $7 billion. For the purposes of comparison, ExxonMobil boasts a market capitalization of $375 billion. Also, Warren Buffet's net worth was calculated at $62 billion, as of March 2008. According to Forbes, 132 individuals on the planet Earth boast net worths equal to, or greater than $7 billion. Any one of these 132 moguls could very well purchase the entire output of the U.S. auto industry at this very moment.

There are no takers. 

With gargantuan unfunded, pension liabilities, lousy product lines, impaired access to credit, and a combative United Auto Worker's union, the intrinsic value of Detroit is actually - zero. Taxpayers will be responsible for this disaster. The solvency of The Big Three is a matter of national pride, and the ripple effect of Detroit's failure in the Upper Midwest would be apocalyptic to an already defeated Rust Belt. 

Lastly, the furniture and home furnishings category details a 13.5% annual decrease in sales, proving that the housing industry remains in shambles. Although the National Association of Realtor's Housing Affordability Index numbers appear favorable - the housing bust is far from over. Credit has tightened, real property is plagued by oversupply, and job losses are mounting. These happenings will skew the algorithm which assumes a median income family may be able to purchase a median-priced home - with a 20% down payment. 

Things could not get much worse.

Solution: Buy [almost] Everything.

She is Just Not That into You

Hmph. Angela Bassett is 'red[ready]-to-go.' Credit: 2006 TNT Black Movie Awards.

Brother,

Women already possess a guide book, He's Just Not that Into You, a work that garnered critical acclaim and rose to the heights of awareness on the strength of the Oprah Winfrey Show. I have taken it upon myself to fill this absolute void and provide guidance directed at my soldiers that are still in the dating game. 

The politics are already difficult enough. First you must maintain the adequate level of self-awareness to identify the traits that you are seeking in a woman. Then, the female must be selected and approached, in an attempt to exchange contact information. This is about 10% of the basic operation.

As I shall reveal to you from the following presentation, merely extricating yourself from a doomed mission of pursuing a lady that is exhibiting no interest in you, whatsoever - is half the battle.

Do not assume that I am above the fray. We have all been there. Pining for a particular object of our affections - only to be rejected and shut down. Repeatedly.

I am presenting a basic algorithm, an ironclad agreement with self to be utilized so that you, the hunter may preserve whatever shred of grace and dignity that you may still have. Our model will also serve as a key deterrent of nuisance behavior that is directed towards my ladies on the dating circuit. The Game has been watered down with such a preponderance of desperate, simp-like behavior where large numbers of women simply reject random, approaching prospects on sight - preferring friends, family, and co-workers to vet all suitors.

Time is money. I encourage you, the reader, to seriously calculate the opportunity cost of chasing after a disinterested woman. The money spent and the time wasted could have at least been saved, invested, and compounded into riches over time. The lost-cause effort would be served better, if redirected towards bettering yourself and attracting other women that actually like you.

The economy remains in a free-fall, several institutions stand upon the brink of collapse, and sheer panic is the order of the day. Under the current scenario, a rise of parasitic behavior will manifest itself within all areas of society - particularly the dating arena. A well-to-do gentleman such as yourself will serve as a convenient target to pay bills, finance vacations, and manage car-notes. The emergence of Web 2.0 social networking has exacerbated the prevalence of these schemes.

You are sitting there on MySpace at the monitor with your pants down talking dirty to some female that you believe to have the face of Beyonce, the voice of a sober Whitney Houston, and the backside of Kim Kardashian. In reality, she is a chain-smoking greasy slob in Alabama, playing on her roommate's computer, and working you for Western Union cash. You, the sucker, ahem, gentleman forward this damsel in distress $2,500 to make rent and incidentals before she is 'evicted,' prior to the proposed, real world meeting off-line. Of course, you know how the story ends. The heifer vanishes, and you are steady at the computer awaiting a confirmation that never appears. Caught, with your pants down.

Stupid. Or as we say in Maryland: Steuuu-pid. 

Of course, there is nothing wrong with treating a lady and offering assistance to a friend in need. However, I must present particular situations in which you may very well be operating as a suited and booted automated teller machine.

The chief difficulty in regards to constructing this list was the actual ordering of these particular sleights. All of the highlighted scenarios present a general lack of interest that shall be dealt with accordingly. We advise that you, the smitten, bow out gracefully, preserving dignity, and retreating to greener pastures - shall our algorithm square with the prevailing message of disinterest.

Our strategy is divided into two sections of a top-ten list. The woman's demonstration of any action within our top-five red zone is cause for automatic dismissal. Man up. She is just not that into you, brother.

Spots six through ten are bleak indicators, but the situation is not without hope, if ONE of these characteristics were to appear. The caveat: this algorithm is contingent upon your own level of affection for the particular love interest. Wifey material? Then by all means, proceed with the pursuance. 

Regardless of sentiment, if two or more of any items on this list answer with the affirmative - you must exit, stage-left. Immediately.

Let's get to it.

Nos. Ten Through Six: Yellow Zone. Proceed with Caution.

'Acceptable' behavior only for top-notch Wifey types. Forging ahead in pursuit is debatable, contingent upon suitor's risk tolerance, i.e., pain threshold. 

#10 The Service Worker

This woman is automatically programmed to direct niceties towards you in exchange for favors, or cash. The gracious bank teller, bartender, flight attendant, or stripper dutifully hangs upon your every word - invitingly grinning at your beck and call. She must really be into you!

Not exactly. She is paid to do so, fool.

Her failure to exchange pleasantries with customers will result in either a lack of tips, or outright termination. Still, there is hope for you yet, and you may very well be her special customer. Investigate by requesting contact information.

If you are presented with a business card, email, web address, or a telephone number affiliated with a stage name such as 'Candy,' you have been had. You are a tool for revenue.

WARNING: Tricks appear at the occupations of pretty women daily, eagerly awaiting an opening in which to muster the courage for an approach. 'Can I take you out to lunch?' 

She gave you a business card. Take the hint and get lost. If not, you will be on the hook for regular $25 meals and $7 lattes - buttering her up for the next man. 

#9 'I have a Man.'

A: She may very well be taken. 

B: She is lying.

We present separate scenarios. One, she is not interested. Two, she may be on auto-pilot, reciting the famous line in order to guard her self from the dating underworld of lame suitors. If so, this tactic can and will be exposed with effective talk game. 

There will always be that flirtatious woman that will discretely make eyes at you - ignoring the significant other at her side. She may wink, flirt, move provocatively, or even slip you her phone number. I advise caution.

Perhaps her man is weak. If you take her up, she may very well dismiss you, the moment a better looking and more moneyed man than yourself shows interest. Perhaps you are just a pawn in the Game, used as a cog element in the relationship to retaliate against the ills of her mate. Perhaps her boyfriend is fresh out of the bing, carries a Glock, and will not hesitate to arrive at your doorstep and kill you over his woman.

Have a nice day.

Warning: Simps befriend the taken female, patiently waiting for the boyfriend to mess up - again, seeking to catch her at a weak moment. This never works.

#8 She Does not Talk

What is your name? Wanda. What do you do? Work. Where are you from? Chicago. Um er ah...Do you come here often? Yup. 

Silence.

Stop embarrassing yourself. I have witnessed this behavior in night clubs, on campus yards, on Chicago Transit Authority buses - basically within every public place that men and women interact. Dogged pursuit may very well score a phone number from this mute, but the situation is typically doomed from the get-go. Phone conversations are limited to unbalanced question and one-word answer sessions, featuring a blaring television and screaming baby in the background. She may break the monotony by randomly breaking into song. Her jam just came on the radio.

1: She is not into you. You are a prop for this attention seeker.

2: She is a total vegetable.

3: Maybe, she is a little shy. Just maybe.

The late Aaliyah indicated that we should dust ourselves off and try again. She may be shy on the first date. What about the next date?

Warning: You have been asking more questions than Anderson Cooper and receiving little attention in return at the club. A simpleton believes that the woman will be Blessed with the gift of gab if only he were to buy her a drink. She will drink her drink, feign attention to your routine, roll her eyes at your technique, and call her man to pick her up. You just wasted $30, partner.

#7 The Matchmaker

Do you really think this is a good thing? She claims you are a 'catch,' only to ease the blow to your psyche of any rejected advances. If she were really into you, it is doubtful that you would play in starring role in Token: The Certified 'Good Guy' Date to be set off on Dummy Mission Dates from Hell. 

She wants to hook you up with her cousin. A girl that has a 'cute face,' and 'good personality.' Translation: This 'date,' is either her sloppy relative from Alabama that dupes men on MySpace with fake profiles, or her forty-two year old aunt that hasn't hit the dance floor since Saturday Night Fever. 

Play it cool. Stick to the script and heed our algorithm. Action seven, by itself, may very well be a potential wifey-type chess game move. You know, the twisted manipulation tactic of a woman indicating that a particular act 'is cool,' just so she can lay in wait to rip you the moment that you execute said act. If so, reject the match with reassuring words of affection.

If not, hopefully her stable of friends look good.

Warning: Idiots get trapped playing the gentleman role, wasting time and money with an unfavorable match. Perhaps a double date will be proposed, and you, the twisted masochist that you are shall revel in the observation of the Beautiful Flower being captivated by another man while you occupy her obnoxious friend. Good Times!

#6 She is Always Busy

O.K. This female has three kids, is putting herself through school - medical residency at that, is redecorating the house, and putting in extra time at the shelter. She is allegedly always busy.

My good man, have you considered the possibility of this woman manufacturing an excuse to descend upon New Orleans to build habitat for humanity residences this weekend to be a total sham? You know, her boss just 'happened' to dump a stack of papers of work to be completed right this minute. Failure to do so will lead to the implosion of her firm, the bankruptcy of Kuwait, and total apocalypse.

Really? 

Kudos to the creativity of this woman. The 'washing my hair' thing is so - 1968.

She is not interested in you, brother. She has constructed an exit strategy to keep phone conversations minimal, and proactively intimate that the chance of scoring a date with this woman is exactly - nil.

Warning: "So -just, let me know when you are free." [How about, Never?] 

Nos. Five Through One: Red Zone. Totally Unacceptable Behavior.

Abandon ship. Now.

#5 She Never Wants to Be Alone With You. Anywhere. Ever.

You think things are going well. You have gone out on the town on several occasions, behaving as the quintessential gentleman. You have been pulling out all the stops - executing the certified Wifey treatment deluxe package. You really think that this thing could work. She just might be into you. I know, you want this thing to work. Your friends are aware that you want this thing to work. We have all been there. 

You have been gushing over this wonderful female for weeks. Excitedly telling the guys about her strawberry scent, soft features, and luscious body. Conveying the information in a sensitive language, yet with rugged masculinity in tact; we know that you are absolutely smitten.

It's closing time. It's time to close the deal.

Sorry, mate. Not tonight. She must return home to watch - Top Model re-runs. Yeah, that's it.

Warning: The over eager push the envelope and press the issue. The behavior runs the gamut from personifying a desperate thirst bucket - to a brief respite at Cook County Jail. Tiny, your cell mate refuses to acknowledge your government name. 'Bella' is a much better fit for you, he says.

#4. She Does Not Call You

See Number 6: She is always busy.

Even worse, she never calls you - yet she never does anything productive during her down time. She has been sprawled out on the couch, eating bonbons, playing solitaire, and sitting through a Jerry Lewis telethon all day. She will 'call you back,' she says. That is, assuming that she picks up the phone in the first place.

Funny, that things turned out this way, isn't it?

Remember how she eagerly returned your initial phone call - cheerfully and daintily panting, "Who is this?" This was before you identified yourself and she stored your ten-digit phone number, aka secret code for girl repellant in her phone.

"Who? Where do I know you from?"

"Oh." The electricity is drained from the conversation, as she recognizes you as the tired, wannabe Mack badgering her for her phone number while she pumped 93 unleaded octane into her Toyota at the Roosevelt Road BP. She will call you back.

Warning: You just keep calling every other week, leaving voice messages to 'check in.'  The jig is up, and you speculate that you are being purposely avoided. You then block your number, quickly hanging-up before she hears the Teddy Pendergrass wafting over the background. Turn out the lights and light a candle - by yourself. Lame-O. 

#3. She has No Intentions to Meet in Person

You actually think that you are putting in a strong bid, working the phone and/or Internet angle.

Ha!

Listing number three is the culmination of every prior ranking. She is a model service employee - incapable of mixing business with pleasure, her boyfriend is a suspicious lunatic, she has about five and one-half kids [her ne'r-do-well brother has moved in with her], and she barely talks to you. 

C'mon. This woman is not interested in any courtship. 

Maybe she will finally agree to a vague date 'sometime Tuesday' after months of politicking. She will then cancel, disappear, or 'forget' to return your phone call to solidify any plans. She makes no attempt to reschedule, or reformulate anything. You look dumb.

Know your role. You are a designated ego-booster.

Warning: You just wired this female your entire check. She didn't even have the courtesy to meet you in person to execute the transaction. Pathetic.

#2 'Let's Just Be Friends'

She sees you as a brother. You would really make a good husband. Best friends, forever. Two peas in a pod. Certainly, you are a great guy - and would make the perfect boyfriend - for her plain, beta female associates that she will gladly foist upon you. 

You see - it's just, she does not see you in 'that way.' She wants to be 'just friends.'

I am hoping that the situation would not deteriorate to this point. We have constructed the perfect blueprint to skirt such disaster. Please. Save yourself. For the Love of all things Sacred, do not let it come to this. You have been LJBF'd. Failure, but worse.

This is Death.

Your masculinity has not been challenged. Nope.

This is castration. Your precious boo is Lorena Bobbitt reincarnate - garishly butchering your manhood from your person, and tossing it out onto the Dan Ryan Expressway to be steamrolled by a procession of eighteen-wheelers.

You have been identified as a woman: a trusted confidante of which the object of your affections feels no intrigue. 

You already have enough friends. End it.

Warning: The Friend Zone is a Black Hole. This is the point of no return. Period.

We must acknowledge the inevitable. All womanhood will enter this thread, shortly, vindictively shredding this latest edition with, 'men and women can be friends' rhetoric. You know, the typical 'I have a ton of guy friends!' or 'Mike and Sally were best of friends before their engagement!' 

Do not buy into this talk. I got you covered. We are prepared to hold the fort and do battle. Yes, in rare cases, men and women can be friends. Yes, in rare cases, best friends do become romantic. But, I am addressing my dream-chasing brethren. My intent is two-fold: protecting these gentlemen from their own selves, and the reduction of irritating behavior that promulgates ill-will between the sexes.

#1 She E-Mails or Links this Article to You

Sorry, brother. I offer my condolences. 

The Bottom

NOTE: This article was written on November 1st. Due to the extreme volatility of markets, the following may appear as an ancient relic.

What exactly does the bottom look like?

The United States of America, the world’s lone Super Power has deteriorated into a quasi developing, ‘third-world,’ nation. Credit crisis? Check. Real-estate bust? Check. The nationalization of private companies and entire industries? Check. A complete erosion of faith within the banking system, spurring domino-like failure? Check. Pillars of commerce, desperately seeking capital, effectively ceding equity control to wealthy foreigners at cut-rate prices? Check. Stock market crash? Check. Coordinated efforts, designated by the world’s central banks to pump liquidity into the system and contain the fallout of a nation on the brink of utter collapse? Check. The emergence of a charismatic leader that incites marching in the streets, and grown men to weep – without emasculation? Check.

We are identifying Friday, October 10th, 2008 – Dow 7,773 as the bottom – the final leg of this slow-motion debacle. The events of the week prior highlighted the passing of the torch and the end of an era. This is a time frame where irrational exuberance has given way to irrational panic.

Irrational exuberance, a term coined by Alan ‘The Maestro’ Greenspan, former Federal Reserve Chairman is an expression synonymous with the raging bull markets, booming technology sector, real estate speculation, and surging commodity prices over the past twenty years – particularly manifest during the late nineties. Ironically, the pump was primed by the cheap money, deregulation, and deficit spending of a U.S. Government that fell in line with the marching orders of Mr. Greenspan. ‘The Maestro’ has accepted his position in queue as a one-time mastermind to be challenged, ridiculed, befuddled, and dismissed by the American people.

We find little solace in the fact that we had aggressively outlined today’s scenario month’s, - if not, at least one year prior to these happenings.  We audaciously predicted the following on page three, within our Cruel Summer 08 report: 

‘Nothing is sacred. The only means with which to commence a return to normalcy and reality will prove to be the ultimate and complete destruction of particular ideals. The idols must not be merely discarded; the idols must be obliterated and smashed into pieces.’

I issued this warning as of June 2008. At the time, the language appeared dire and may have even bordered upon lunacy. Notice has been served, with the shocking disintegration of Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, Wachovia, AIG, and Fannie Mae. Detroit, the nation of Iceland, and Citigroup are all teetering precariously close to the abyss of failure and ultimately, oblivion.

Let us reintroduce our term, ‘irrational panic.’ The United States of America and Western capitalism is not on the brink of collapse. Our citizenry is far from doomed, and we are not destined to battle Depression era bread lines, or shantytown poverty. Still, the financial sector has been battered to the point where complete bankruptcy appears the end point for all companies. This is foolishness.

Although we tentatively mark October 10th as the bottom, we are mindful of the fact that Greenspan’s irrational exuberance dominated commercial interests for at least one decade before reverting to the mean.  Our intent is to patiently collect assets on the cheap amidst these times of irrational panic, and I am recommending that private investors follow suit.

Michael Arrington: Web 2.0 King Maker

Credit: John Lee and Aurora Select for TIME Magazine

Introducing Michael Arrington, 38 - Silicon Valley's latest power broker.

The former corporate attorney, turned blogger, has built his obsession into an influential TechCrunch web portal that generates more than $200,000 in revenues per month. TIME Magazine has declared Arrington one of the world's one hundred most influential people, and Technorati ranks Michael Arrington as the third most powerful writer on the Internet.

The serial entrepreneur abandoned what he deemed to be the boring, yet cushy career of practicing law to engage in the hand-to-hand fisticuffs of Web entrepreneurship. The brash businessman was unsatisfied with the legal track - demanding larger roles within the profession, yet remaining unfulfilled. His story documents the rise of the unlikely hero.

Following his 1995 graduation from Stanford Law, law firm Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati approached Arrington concerning employment. Arrington specialized in consulting high-tech companies to go public - raising money via capital markets, rather than from private investors. At that point, the young lawyer became enthralled with the rugged ideals of entrepreneurship. 

In 1999, Michael Arrington took the plunge - quitting the orderly world of lawyering for the make-or-break lifestyle of high technology. Mr. Arrington was employed as the head of business development at Real Names, a start-up with a mission to simplify web addresses.

The irrational exuberance of that era fed into the 2000-2002 tech collapse, and all hope regarding any Real Names IPO riches vanished. The Internet boom went bust, and Arrington landed at Achex, a firm designed to facilitate the transfer of online payments. Achex proved to be another failure. The rapid emergence of rival PayPal sealed the company's fate.

For three years, Arrington globetrotted from the West Coast to Canada to Western Europe, working for technology outfits, and stockpiling cash. The gentleman's bankroll afforded him the opportunity to rent a Southern California beach condominium, and effectively retire for nine months. According to Arrington, it was the simple life: "All I did was work out, surf, and watch movies."

Arrington was quickly lured into the rapid fire pace of high technology, accepting a role with classified site, Edgeio and shifting his operations north to Atherton, CA. The wealthy suburb, lying just north of Stanford University falls within the heart of Silicon Valley. Arrington began to blog, as a means to research and critique an industry from which he had been on hiatus the prior year.

Arrington's TechCrunch blog became so popular that the businessman quit his new job within six months.

Michael Arrington rose early, crossed the hallway of his rented Atherton home, and obsessively cranked out sixteen hours worth of blog posts - every day. "I got up every day and worked until I passed out," he says. The blogger began hosting barbecues and parties at his residence, further drawing attention to his work. The first event tallied a mere twenty guests. Now, his legendary galas draw A-List nightclub crowds, and are a Silicon Valley social circuit staple.

The king maker has hired some help, and his team of journalists review technologies, present Silicon Valley gossip, and profile hot start-ups. A positive 400-word write-up by his influential site will make or break a young company - desperate for seed money. Also, TechCrunch readers are an advertising gold mine - earning over $100,000 of annual income, on average.

The demanding boss remains in the mix, privy to the occasional online dust-up that is a mark of Web 2.0. According to Wired, the man does not shirk from battle:

"At 6'4" he projects a persona somewhere between an aging linebacker and Tony Soprano - a large man always on the verge of losing his cool."

Arrington's legend grew be breaking the Google - YouTube acquisition, first, before old-line media stalwarts such as the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. These iconic sources were scooped, lowering themselves to cite - a blogger.

Michael Arrington is critical of Big Media, and engages the old guard at every turn. The lawyer / entrepreneur / writer / investor often blasts mainstream pieces as the twisted propaganda of misinformed, unchallenged journalists. This Black Sheep attended a 2006 panel discussion in Washington, D.C. where he was blatantly ignored by media big shots.

The TechCrunch chief retaliated with a 1,200 word rant on his blog: "It's the first time I addressed 'real' journalists head-on. And all I saw was fear, loathing, and disdain."  

Cormega - The Mad Rapper

Cory 'Cormega' McKay is the Mad Rapper.

Rap aficionados are introduced to the Madd Rapper as a skit on Notorious B.I.G.'s second LP, 1997's Life After Death. The artist [Deric Angelettie] has written several albums - yet has been unable to achieve commercial success. The rapper is baffled by the new found celebrity of Biggie Smalls, whose work is less 'John Blaze,' or of lesser quality than his own personal lyricism. The Madd Rapper becomes agitated with the female interviewer and challenges the host to question his provocative stance.

Enter Cormega. The Long Island City, Queens artist is revered within the underground set - yet his style has been largely dismissed from radio air play. Ironically, the Queensbridge Housing projects from which Cormega hails have been an effective breeding ground for such notable acts as Capone-n-Noreaga, Mobb Deep, and Nasir Jones.

Contrary to his high-pitched delivery, Mega's subject matter is indeed, sinister. His gritty message profiling the shadows of New York City reigns supreme over the dark melodies of the concrete jungle. Cormega performs with a calculated rage of a mid-level hustler that has been forced into a lifestyle of quick money, fast living, and the ever-present threat of total loss.

Cory McKay witnessed the murder of his own mother at the age of four and has directed his anger towards the street, recording booth, and all adversaries, real or imagined, ever since.

His vocabulary and depth pertaining to his alternative world is captivating. McKay's rap career is a consequence of his stepmother forcing a young Mega to read one book per week. The literature spawned a love of words and poetry that translated into rap. In spite of this woman's positive influence - the surrounding environs of shootouts, drug deals, and mayhem resulted in Cormega's forty-month incarceration bid at Riker's Island.

Nas' classic 1994 debut album, Illmatic introduced Cory McKay to the world with One Love, a masterful track featuring a letter penned to the jailed Mega. 

Upon his 1995 release, McKay's voice is heard on Nas' Affirmative Action. The track introduced The Firm, an All-Star rap group of Nas, Foxy Brown, AZ, and Cormega. Cory McKay was signed to Def Jam and recorded The Testament, shortly thereafter. Contract disputes and creative disagreements led to Mega being unceremoniously dumped from The Firm - replaced by Nature at the behest of Nas' manager, Steve Stoute. The Testament was shelved indefinitely, and the happenings incited a long standing feud with Nas, the most successful rap artist hailing from Queens, NY. 

In 2000, Cormega, having already established his street credibility as a budding gangster, engaged the underground, mix-tape circuit - earning respect with a microphone, as opposed to a semi-automatic. McKay then established Legal Hustle Records - releasing four albums and one DVD under the label. His 2001 debut effort, The Realness achieved a Billboard 200 position of twenty-fourth, and his 2002 sophomore recording The True Meaning was designated as The Underground album of the Year by Source Magazine.

 

Cormega openly wrestles with the ironies of a Queens culture of thuggery. The words illustrate this man of ironies - expressing remorse for the dealing of narcotics that exacerbate the failures of its users, and destroy the lives of the innocent - while reconciling his behavior as a direct consequence of his rugged environment. McKay struggles with the pain of accepting a street lifestyle that led to the murder of his own mother, debating whether he is in fact, destined for Hell on The Saga, track number four of The Realness. 

Mega brazenly attacks the career paths of commercial, radio friendly rappers that wax poetic about a street code of which they lack knowledge. Nasir Jones is often the implicit and obvious target of this Master of Ceremony's [MC's] scathing diction.

Cormega presents himself as a trusted ally and street tough whose persona and early affiliation with Nas acted to launch the impressive career of his fellow Queensbridge resident. Mega is dismayed and outraged by the lack of respect that he has been awarded - ridiculing the slight monetary gesture of the rich and famous Nas on True Meaning's Love in Love Out following his release from prison:

'You gave me $100 when I came home.'

Cory McKay's calculated discourse of inner-city turmoil risks degenerating into the haunting poetry of a woman scorned - the obsession over a detached target. Cormega articulates that the rift is the consequence of an innate jealousy resonating from Nas towards himself. The MC intimates that a street badge of courage is more valuable to a man than international acclaim, a beautiful wife, Kelis, and certified status as one of the greatest rappers of all time.

Conclusions

1. Raw talent is nothing without execution. The landscape is littered with geniuses that lacked the organization and business savvy to properly exploit their own skills.

2. Smart diversification is all-important. Notorious B.I.G. capitalized upon a formula that combined radio-friendly music written for women, club hoppers, and suburbanites; along with a catalogue of street anthems, which effectively maintained a level of respect within his core base. Cormega, The Mad Rapper dismissed said strategy, and concentrated his vocals upon crack dealing, gun fire, and violence. Although his efforts have been recognized by a relatively small group of followers, he has been unable to capture a large fandom with such subject matter. 

3. Do not rely upon the strength of another for your own success.

The Top 5 Most Stylish Cities in America

Hardly the fashion authority, I shall present my top five list of the most stylish cities in America. Perhaps it is to my advantage that I am in fact, a fashion industry outsider. I shall not rely upon any preconceived notions or dogma. This is strictly common sense; I know what I like. In addition to the obvious factors, we shall utilize the following unconventional methods: numbers of good looking women, preponderance of graybeard sugar daddies, and the Pat Riley factor.

Sorry, Chicago, the Windy City did not quite make the cut. Although I would identify Chicago and Minneapolis as the most happening locales of Middle America - geographically, the Midwest is not an area that permits the establishment of setting haute couture trends. The harsh winters, blue-collar vibe, and deterioration of the nation's industrial belt, are particular developments that are not conducive to looking cute. The look is more about utility than fashion. A: You may be laid off at any time in the Rust Belt. B: The salt, sand, snow, and ice will do a number on those $2,685 Manolo's, Honey.

From December to March, the look matches Kenny McCormick's arrival at Baghdad. The only skin visible is that of which surrounds the eye sockets, and weather weary Loop commuters march through the muck - preparing to engage in corporate warfare.

Do not challenge the presentation. The characteristic is what makes Chicago - Chicago. Chicago is the City that Works - its lack of pretense and gritty core to engage and surmount all obstacles represents substance over style. Chicagoans can respect that.

Let us begin:

#5 Atlanta

The Mecca. This is Black Hollywood. Atlanta, ravaged and destroyed by General Sherman's March to the Sea, has emerged as the cultural capitol of the South. Image is everything in the ATL, a city that both welcomes and embraces wealthy African Americans, while serving as a hotbed for a prolific entertainment industry. The roll call of ATLiens is a who's who of hip-hop:

Jermaine Dupri, Usher, OutKast, Ludacris, T.I., TLC, Lil John, and Young Jeezy all hail from the city. The Southern sound has been produced, promoted, and distributed by music icons ranging from L.A. Reid to Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds,' LaFace Records.

I would argue that the Atlanta Dirty South brand of music, characterized by its catchy hooks, pounding bass, and lazy riffs has supplanted the New York technique of dueling lyricism, in terms of popularity. Clearly, the rise of Atlanta's Soulja Boy, serves as testimony to this movement.

Apparently, all residents of Atlanta are producers, aspiring rappers, music executives, and successful businessmen. The low cost of living enables its middle class residents to enjoy a lifestyle of aspiring opulence. Big homes. Big cars. Big chrome. Big bills. Big grills.

The proximity of major universities surrounding the Altanta Metro undergird the dynamism. Georgia Tech, Georgia State, Emory, Morehouse College, Spelman, and Clark-Atlanta attract young minds to the area, and foster a large network of intelligent, connected alumni.

Despite Atlanta lying within the heart of the Bible Belt - its club atmosphere is legendary, and the party pulsates throughout the night from Midtown to Buckhead. Atlanta, Georgia is the personification of the ultimate music video.

Contrary to the glamour, dainty, southern belles exemplify grace and femininity. Her counterpart, the southern gentleman is dapper, yet humble while remaining rugged. 

Atlanta Fashion Faux Pas: Anything hurried. Rude, loud-mouthed Northern carpetbaggers.

#4 Washington, D.C.

Politics rule the nation's capitol. Often it is not what you know; rather status is applied regarding whom it is that you actually do know. Dress and behave accordingly.

Washingtonians rub shoulders and mingle with the elite at all times. Diplomats, lobbyists, foreign luminaries, and congressional leaders frequent the corridors of Washington - building important networks and coalitions throughout the social circuit.

The city plan was created by freeman Benjamin Banneker and Frenchman, Pierre L'Enfant. The nation's permanent se